When Will I See You Again?
by Radiant Angel Girl
Summary: He left with no goodbye, not a single word was said.
1. Chapter 1

_When will I see you again?  
>You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said.<br>No final kiss to seal anything,  
>I had no idea of the state we were in.<em>

It was the light streaming through open blinds that woke Andy. The brightness amplified by a combination of fresh snow outside, the shine of the polished hardwood floors and the painted white walls. It hurt to open her eyes. They were dry and sore from the tears that had escaped last night. Hmm. Last night. It still pained her to think about it. Last night she listened to her heart for the first time and it failed her, she felt. She wanted _him_. She had always_ loved_ him. Never even really Luke. Just him. Sam.

_I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness  
>And a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head.<em>

And he was gone.

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><p>She had called him, and when the voice mail took over, she left for his place, a location she had etched into her memory. Seeing his truck parked out front filled her with promise, and nervousness. As she rapped her knuckles against the wood of the doorframe, she felt herself shivering some in the cold breeze. Finding the doorbell, she pressed it once, twice, stepping back to look at the nearby window. Nothing. No shuffling behind the door. No lights. Nothing. She tried calling again, and saw the light of the phone in the window. But still, it went to voice mail. Giving up, losing all her courage she backed away. Working her way to a brisk jog, she returned to the station, hoping the clear air would clear her head.<p>

At this point, it was too late to find Traci for a ride. She had gone for the night. So Andy took off her coat and sat at her desk, examining the report she would need for the coroner. Her hands began to tremble as she went over the day in her head. Somehow her 5-year-plan had a huge hole in it. One that could only be filled by Sam. Resting her face in her palms, she leaned forward into the desk. That was when she was surprised by Oliver tapping her shoulder. "Shouldn't you be home by now?" she asked him.  
>"Nah, I figured you'd be back and I had something for you," he said. It was then she noticed the manila envelope in his right hand. He handed it to her and straddled the chair next to her. Confusion was evident on her face as she took it from him, easing the flap up and peering inside. 2 keys and a note were contained the envelope. Glancing back at Oliver she felt her hands begin to shake again. "He tried to find you, but Noelle said you left."<p>

The note was hastily written in Sam's hurried print. 'McNally-Take care of these for me.' She turned it over in her hands. The keys in the envelope were clearly for a car and a house.

"Boyd drove Sam back up here after you left. They had an opportunity to put him under tonight, so they took it. He wanted to say goodbye. He did. But he got your voice mail each time." Her heart was pounding in her ears. "Since you're still looking for a place he said you could take his till he comes back if you hadn't made plans yet."

"Can you give me a ride back to his place?" That was the question Oliver was waiting for, though confused by the 'back' part. He stood and pulled her up by the hand and guided her out the door. Heartbreak was evident all over this girl. She looked worse in the last fifteen minutes than she had when she had left Callahan.

She entered the house, closing the door quietly behind her and locking it. The memories were still fresh of her only steps inside these walls. She found her way to the kitchen and seeing the bottle of whiskey on the table, and the glass that didn't make it to the sink, his lips and fingerprints still visible on them. She added some to the glass and drank, the amber liquid burning as it flowed down her throat. Eventually she ended up in his bed. Alone. And sobbing.

_But don't you remember? Don't you remember?  
>The reason you loved me before?<br>Baby, please remember me once more._

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><p>I don't own rookie blue (ultra sad face) or have the creative brain power to come up with these amazing lyrics. Hope you enjoyed! Maybe a part 2<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

_When was the last time you thought of me?  
>Or have you completely erased me from your memory?<em>

It had been 97 days since she had last held his gaze.

Andy understood why he had gone. He was giving her time and space. He needed time and space. He had been waiting patiently in the background while she had been grieving a lost opportunity at an easy life. Her mind was occupied by her anger, her depression, and her stupidity. That was all she could feel about her relationship with Luke. That it had been some strange opportunity that wasn't meant for her. True, she thought she was safe with him, that her heart wouldn't be broken again. She went against her gut instinct and chose Luke. And "luck" had worked it out so she didn't fall into a mistake of a marriage. Funny how she thought Luke's cheating on her was good luck now...

_I often think about where I went wrong  
>The more I do the less I know.<em>

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><p>That was truly the worst decision she had made in her life to that point. Sam's advice was to always trust your gut instinct. If she had from the start, where would she be now? Looking at the clock radio to the right of the bed she saw it flashing 12:00. There was only dim light of early spring seeping through the sides of the closed shades. She chuckled almost cynically to herself. 'Must have had an overnight power outage.' She sat up and reached across the bedside table for her cell phone and flipped it open for the time. 6:14. Brilliant. Resetting the alarm, she turned over and fell asleep, hoping for another hour or two.<p>

_I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness  
>And a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head.<em>

A thought plagued her mind, though. Did he think of her as often as she did of him?

* * *

><p>She loved him. That was for certain. After he left she had been partnered with Oliver again. His was a calming presence, a mixture between a father and a brother. And his place in the world as Sam's best friend had always been evident. It was comforting to know that Sam had wanted her to be placed with Oliver in his absence.<p>

This was only further cemented when Oliver had returned to Sam's place the day after he left to check on Andy. It was late afternoon, and after a few knocks on the sill of the door, he let himself in with the spare key Sam had given him years ago. He knew it was her weekend off, but seeing Andy lying on the couch with an almost empty bottle of booze in her hand made his heart ache for her. "Andy?" He asked gingerly. Her tear glazed eyes looked up at him and she let out a sad sigh. Placing the bottle on the coffee table, she sat forward.  
>"I know. I'm wallowing. I just need to properly wallow before I go back on Monday."<br>Still he eyed the alcohol for a moment before acting. He took the bottle away from her and put it away. "Booze only makes things worse, McNally. You should know that," he added softly. "You know he loves you, right?" She nodded slowly. "Go get cleaned up," he prodded, "you're Sam's stand in for dinner at my place. Zoe's cooking like we're having company."

_But don't you remember? Don't you remember?  
>The reason you loved me before?<br>Baby please remember me once more._

Now, just over three months later, she was done feeling sorry for herself. When he came back she'd never let him go. She'd make sure he understood that she'd love him till the day she dies and then some. And she'd make sure he never gave her time or space again.

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><p>Gah. I couldn't help but continue. The italics are Adele's <em>Don't You Remember<em>. Part 3 around the corner. Maybe tonight or tomorrow. I love this gooey feeling stuff.


	3. Chapter 3

_Gave you the space so you could breath__  
><em>I kept my distance so you could be free<em>_

Sam ran a hand through his gelled hair. He sat on the corner of his bed in a dingy flat. It was smaller than a shoebox, but slightly larger than the last place he had stayed undercover. He inspected the dirt beneath his nails, trying to clean them, thinking to himself. It had been 147 days since he had last glimpsed her. Almost five months. Now summer was in full effect.

That day, as their noses nearly touched from closeness, truly he almost kissed her. But she wasn't ready. She wasn't there yet. It was too evident in her eyes, the apprehension at starting something new, so unfamiliar. True also was this was uncharted territory for him too. Love?

Truth was, he thought about her every day, considered writing her a letter. But he didn't really have the words. No. Sam was an action man. So when he saw her. He would show her how he felt for her. How sorry he was to have left her. He hoped he fit somewhere in her 5-year-plan.

He had tried all kinds of angles to get out of this case early. He didn't plan on going in early. He didn't usually plan anything. But he had a plan for when he got out. He would love her, kiss her, marry her, make babies with her, if she would have him. He didn't realize how much a part of him she had become until he was forced to be away from her. It ate at him not knowing how she was faring. His biggest fear was that she would crumble. This was why he asked his best friend and confidant to watch out for her until the day he returned. 'And that day was coming soon,' he thought to himself as he looked across the room at the calendar, focused on the date circled in red.

_And hope that you would find the missing piece__  
><em>To bring you back to me<em>_

Andy was on edge. She felt uneasy today. She looked at the calendar and noted the date. 150 days. Stepping outside she looked to the skies for some impression of emotional support. She vaguely wondered if this was how her father felt, not being able to drink, comparing it to her yearning for Sam. Pushing that thought aside, Andy slid into the silver truck and started the engine. Nothing of particular interest was stated at parade, and Oliver and she would be out patrolling as per usual. As they pulled out, it was Boyd Andy saw drive in; though she wished she could have had the opportunity to read the look on his face. He did not seem to notice her as he drove on.

To be honest, his presence made her feel worse. His presence could mean one of a few things. An undercover gone wrong or an undercover gone right or a new undercover. She started to panic in her seat. "Andy what's wrong?" Oliver asked driving. He could feel the tension rolling off of her.  
>"Did you see boyd just now?" She asked quickly.<p>

"Yes. Yes I did... Sam was right. You can hear the wheels turn in your head when you over think. Stop thinking about it. It's either positive or negative, or it has nothing to do with Sam and we won't know until we get called back."

"Oliver. I'm scared." It was the first time she had actually admitted it.

"I know. Me too." He hadn't admitted it to anyone else. He was always worried. Worried about Sam, this undercover thing. He had heard details about it that he hoped Andy would never find out. If she knew he was elbow to elbow with a murderer, she would flip. He was worried Sam would never come back. That he would be a victim. That they would get called out somewhere and his best friend's body would be zipped away into a black bag. He let out a sight and ran a hand over his face. He glanced over at the girl next to him. He worried about her too. If something happened to Sam… she would be lost. She would fall back into the hole he had helped her climb out of when Sam left, and she would fall deeper yet.

At the end of their shift, they returned to the barn, the day had been uneventful, save an accident with minor injuries. It had reminded Andy of the girl, Leslie. And it reminded her of the girl she once had been: fickle, erratic, craving no aching for stability. She finished her paperwork and caught up with Traci. Jerry was running late with whatever was today's case. To the Penny it was.

_Why don't you remember?  
>Don't you remember?<em>

She sat at the table with Traci, Gail, Dov, and Chris, swirling the large blocks of ice around in her glass. It was true, she didn't come out with the rooks much anymore. She went to Oliver and Zoe's every Saturday, but didn't feel she could sit in the large crowd of the bar without getting lost. She smiled slightly at some or other of Dov's antics her eyes drifting to the place at the bar Sam used to occupy, empty tonight. Her gaze floated to the door as some sad song dimmed to a close. She paid her bar tab and said her goodbyes.

_The reason you loved me before.  
>Baby, please remember me once more.<em>

_When will I see you again?_


	4. Chapter 4

The bar was still pretty busy when Jerry rolled up in his sports car. He was so relieved that he had completed his case tonight. Looking over at the passenger with a big grin he said, "I told Traci I'd be late tonight. She was going to bring McNally to the Penny tonight."

There were dark circles under the passenger's eyes, he was tired. Sam was so very, very tired. But he promised Jerry he would go with is shenanigans for a short while. There was still something important he wanted to accomplish tonight. Briefly he wondered if Andy was still living in his home, whether she slept in his bed. He saw a silver truck drive by across the street, and he allowed himself a smile when he wondered if she had dented his truck. Thinking about her renewed his energy, as Jerry got out of the vehicle and closed the door behind him. He opened the car door for his friend and helped him out of the vehicle. Jerry wouldn't take the cuffs off him 'til he was in the bar.

* * *

><p>From inside the bar, Traci glanced at her phone. 10:15 PM was the time it read. She had had a new text message sometime in the last forty-five minutes. It was from Jerry: <em>Hope Andy is still there, got a surprise for her.<em> Shaking her head at the text, she snapped her phone closed and gulped her drink. That girl had just walked out of the bar fifteen minutes ago. Whatever the situation was, it always seemed Andy's timing was off. Briefly she wondered what Jerry could have found that would cheer her up.

Suddenly, the door to the Penny burst open and Jerry walked in with a cuffed, hooded individual. Pulling the man's hood back he said "Look who I could out in the streets tonight!" It was Sam, a grin on his face, but scruffy and gaunt looking. Oliver looked up from the dart board to see the commotion and felt a wave of relief shower him. Sam was okay. That meant Andy would be okay too. Both of his people were okay. Zoe would be thrilled to hear it. "Let's get this man a drink!" He heard someone shout as he watched the cuffs be taken off.

A drink was pressed into Sam's palm by someone and another person had roughed up his hair. Someone else clapped a hand on his back, but all he could do was scan the room looking for the pair of brown eyes that held the answers he needed to hear. He saw Jerry talking to Nash, who was sitting with the other rookies, but Andy was not with them. He took a gulp of his drink, and identified it as good scotch. He found Oliver at a side table and sat in the unoccupied seat.

"I think she's already gone home for the night," Oliver said simply, noticing his friend's eyes wandering across the room and not really stopping anywhere. "Finish your drink and I'll take you home. Glad to have you back, buddy."

"Has she… Has she been doing okay?" Sam asked hesitantly, almost afraid of a negative answer.

"She has had her ups and downs, but that was to be expected. We took good care of her while you were gone. You're going to have to get used to sharing our weekend dinners with her, too, now." Sam knew he could count on Oliver to watch over her. He drained his glass and waited for Oliver to finish his before standing up. A brief man-hug ensued before Oliver added, "You're gonna need those dinners. Got to fatten you back up. You look like you lost fifty pounds, brother."

"Yeah I know. I need a good steak, man." With that they left the bar and drove to Sam's house in silence.

* * *

><p>Andy was having one last drink alone before she retired to bed. They never did hear anything about Boyd's cause for appearance today. It must have been okay, whatever it was about. Probably something completely unrelated to her concerns. She saw lights of a car pass across the blinds of the front of the house, and a car engine shut off. Peeking out the window she could see that it looked like Oliver's car. Suddenly she felt extreme nerves. Why was he here at near eleven? Unless… unless they had given him the task of bringing her bad news. And if that was going to be the case she wouldn't answer the door. She returned to the kitchen and placed her glass in the sink, and took a swig of the booze direct from the bottle. She heard a car door shut, twice before the engine started again and faded into the distance. Must have chickened out, she thought, bitterly. Another drink of the burning liquid was all she could take before she capped the bottle and turned off the kitchen light, making her way through the dark house to the bedroom. Then she heard something. The storm door had opened and there were keys rattling as they made contact with the deadbolt on the door. Considering grabbing her gun from the bedroom for a moment, she stood still, frozen. And for a moment she could hardly breathe.<p>

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><p>Thursday's episode was a dream! You know... reviews make me want to write this stuff even more. Keep em coming!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

The knob of the door turned and the most perfect thing ever appeared behind it. Showered in bright moonlight, Sam crossed the threshold of the door, and looked into the darkness of the room eyes focused on the glistening orbs that were the eyes of the person he needed the most. He dropped his bag to the floor and made quick work of the distance between them. Taking her face in his rough hands, he pulled her towards him. He brought her face to meet his and his hands trembled as they made their way into her hair. Her hands too latched onto his shirt, pulling him as close as she could. She needed to know he was real, tangible, not some figment of her drunken imagination. They didn't even need words. He just needed her to know how he felt. How important she was to him. The saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' was beyond true. For now, they were content to lose themselves in each other. To revel in reality.

Andy frantically pulled at him, her fingers running through his thick hair, brushing over the stubble on his cheeks, palms pressing into his muscled arms and chest. And then her face was buried in his chest, his shirt soaking up her tears and muffling her sobs. His hands slowed and gripped her to him in a fierce hug, murmuring soothing words into her ear. After a few moments she pulled her face away and unwound her fingers from his t-shirt. She pressed her forehead into his and looked straight into his eyes. "I love you. Don't ever leave me again," she said firmly.  
>"I love you more than anything," he said with equal resolve. "I'm not going anywhere."<p>

She trailed her fingertips to the hem of his shirt and pulled gently, guiding him to the bedroom. The frantic pace was gone. Touches lingered. Caresses were softer. Actions spoke so much more than thousands of words ever could.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, with the early morning light shimmering into the bedroom, Andy's eyes fluttered open. Her head throbbed with a dull ache, likely due to the alcohol she had consumed the night before. She tried to make sense of what little she could remember from the night before. She went to the Penny with Traci, then came home and had a few more, then… She turned her head and smiled ant the face that was sleeping in the crook of her elbow. Sam. She ran her fingers lazily through his hair, and trailed them down over the flat planes of his back. This man; Andy would do anything for this man. His eyes squinted open at her. "Morning," he murmured.<p>

"Good morning," she yawned back drowsily. "I missed you," she stated bluntly with a weak smile.  
>"God, I missed you, too," was his adamant reply. He pressed his face to her belly. "Can I wake up like this every morning?" He was smiling, his dimples in full view.<br>"Please," she replied, "for the rest of my life." Glancing at the clock, she winced. It read 6:15 AM in blaring green letters. She was scheduled for the early shift. She had forty-five minutes to get to the station for parade. "Shit!" she exclaimed. "I have to get up. Do you have to go in today?"  
>"Yeah," he groaned and rolled onto his back. He sat up and stretched. "Have to debrief, give my final statement, and tell Boyd to take me off the list."<br>"List?" she questioned, placing her feet on the floor.  
>"Yeah, I'm done with undercover work," he said simply walking around the bed. He pulled her up to meet him in a kiss. "Come on, we need to shower." With a quirk of Andy's brow, he stole another kiss and walked into the bathroom, still holding her hand.<p>

* * *

><p>A short amount of time later, the two were piling into the silver truck, Sam taking the keys from her. "Feels good to have my truck back. You remembered to change the oil, right?" She scowled and pointed to the corner of the windshield where the sticker from the auto-shop was. "Great! I knew I could trust you McNally." He had a goofy grin on his face, he looked instantly younger, healthier. She had noticed even through his muscular build, he had lost some weight. But the circles she remembered seeing in his eyes were faded, and he'd had a clean shave. After he'd started the engine, and put the truck into gear, he reached across the truck and twined his fingers between hers.<p>

At the station, each had walked into their respective locker rooms. Traci could easily see the effortlessness of her friend's happy attitude. It was a welcome change. She didn't have to fake it any more. She made her way to parade and sit in her normal chair, waiting for Sam to reappear. Parade had begun before Sam made his way into the room. Applause preceded him, and he made a few witty remarks akin to those when he'd come out of undercover the last time. Sans, of course, the shower remark.

Oliver looked between Sam and Andy and said a prayer in relief. He didn't need to worry any more. His people were together and safe in each other's care. The car assignments were given, the old assignments back into rotation. This was the way things needed to be. Everyone could finally be normal, could feel normal. And by the youthful glow on Sam's face and the cheerful disposition radiating off of Andy, he didn't doubt that they were finally together. Zoe would be beyond pleased.

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><p>The End! I don't know how I feel about this. Hope you like. May come up with something better later.<p> 


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